1. |
Transmission
03:46
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I hit the brakes and I swerve to the right
I lose control and then it smashes the side
My mind is blank and on the passenger’s side
My love is gonna feel it
Brother’s gonna feel it
But I cannot feel anything
My leg just buckles beneath me
And all the blood is only icing
Cause I cannot believe it
And I sat in the dirt
Wait for help
Hold your head up in my hand
And I sang you the song that was playing in the stereo when we crashed
No, I will never leave your side
Or stop calling out your name
You’re my brother, you’re my teacher, my best friend
Ambulance and airplanes
They try to keep us separate
And plug us into the machines
Which make us less than human
Take away the union
But they cannot keep us apart
As long as we’ve got beating hearts
And we will wait until after dark
To be the same person
You’re on crutches
I am sleeping
In a coma till my beard grows to my knees
I’ve never really had to try to carry out your name
You’re my blood and the transmission lives in me
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2. |
Loops
03:30
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You push back
I push forwards
Stop for gas
So that together we can get along
I know that we’ve already been here
I recognize the signs
Asleep with both our eyes open
Swappin’ at each others’ minds
So that when you give word
I pull over
Driving backwards
We roll over
We’re never getting going
I’ve known it all along
Every time I try to escape I have to wait till you make up your mind
And now you’re sleeping and I’m awake
Loop Dee Loop for days
What are you teaching now that I’m awake?
Learn to fucking wait
Learn some fucking patience.
There was a time I said it wasn’t worth it
“I’ll try to just let it slide”
Know that I was lying
I think you knew that I was lying
But now you’re gone and I can’t say sorry
(I hope you know I practically live for the hashing out of our minds)
Arguments and recovery
Brutal fucking honesty
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3. |
Premium Sunrise
04:42
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Stars align
Disastrous
Once in a while
Suffering mess
Under the full moon
I smoke cigarettes
And bask in the dull light
Enough for both of us
Premium sunrise
Swimming at night
That was your favorite
I wish you weren’t alive
I wish you weren’t suffering
Stuck on a tall bed
I wish you’d open your eyes
To see the premium sunrise
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4. |
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I dream I saw you over the battlefield
They took lots of time to drop the bomb
Cans of peas enough to save our lives
But the shelter was too cold to raise a child
I could not explain why the sky was gone
So we’ll have to wait here till dawn
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5. |
Flowers
02:58
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Flowers
Standing in the light
Take me from the field so I can cower
Face down
Thorns in my side
Taste a bit of blood so I’ll live longer tonight
And on the fourth month I’ll no longer feel the bite
The frost is colder for the tragedy of life
I’m the softest in the ground
Sleeping, dreaming
Of white shells
Slick as your sweet skin
Reaching out to friends so I can trust that
You’re not dead
Everything’s alright
I am being cared for by angels tonight
And on the fourth floor I’ll no longer feel the bite
The frost is colder for the tragedy of life
I’m the softest on the ground
Sleeping
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6. |
The Other Side
02:55
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Once without
I am stricken off my saunter
Cast in doubt
I could never be my brother
Waste awake
Like its every hour meaning
Sleep in late
So I hope to meet him dreaming
He comes to me with eyes black and spirits softly seeping
By now I know he’s dead and reaching from his keep
I’d give up anything for a second in your reach
I’ve got to know that you’re alright on the other side
There’s a house
In a field where you are resting
Made of glass
And on the fourth floor there is haunting
You’re around
But you’re agony in screaming
There’s no one
Who can give you what you’re needing
I’d rather make a start with something new than go on living
Without you, my old abode is crumbling nothing to remind me
What to do, I go on eating sleeping working on my art
That’s about you
So I can meet you on the other side
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7. |
Really, Really
03:13
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I really, really miss you all the time
As the sun slips by
I really, really miss you in the night
When I see the sky
And often do I dream of you as we sleep
And we get to meet
And I just want to hold you and you me
But we need to leave
I really, really miss you
I’ll miss you my whole life
I wish that I could kiss you
I’m not afraid to be with you in time
I miss you in the smells of the third world
Burning trash and petrol
I miss you in the music that we’d share if you were here
I wish that you could see what I’ve become: a human
I wish that you could share in all my plans and hold my hand
I really, really miss you
I’ll miss you for my whole life
I wish I could have told you that I loved you every minute of your life
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8. |
Don't Be Afraid
02:40
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Don’t be afraid
It’s only love
Don’t hesitate to tell your bro
Don’t be afraid, he wants to listen
To the babble in your mouth
There might have been another moment
But we’ll have to do without
Don’t know why it’s hard to say sometimes
I wish I could spit it out
Every minute of each day of my life
And we wouldn’t have such doubt
If I had told you that I loved you
Would you still feel insecure?
Didn’t you know so many loved you
From behind every locked door?
Don’t be afraid
It’s only love
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9. |
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Translated by Monica Gomery
Peace unto you
Ministering angels
Messengers of the most High
Of the Supreme King of Kings
The Holy One, Blessed be
May your coming be in peace
Angels of peace
Messengers of the most High
Of the Supreme King of Kings
The Holy One, Blessed be
Bless me with peace
Angels of peace
Messengers of the most High
Of the Supreme King of Kings
The Holy One, Blessed be
May your departure be in peace
Angels of peace
Messengers of the most High
Of the Supreme King of Kings
The Holy One, Blessed be
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10. |
Wish You Were Here
04:15
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Wish that you were here
To alleviate the fear
In my chest
When I feel that I’m the worst
And the best
In a corner of the earth
Not everything’s about this
But everything: it is
And I don’t try to wrap my head around it
I just take it as it is
Only need your reassurance
Everybody is insane
Want to speak our secret language
Want to pick your special brain
Only you can understand me
But you’re nowhere to be found
When I look at everything around me
Your presence is abound
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11. |
Cabin in the Woods
06:43
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I don’t like it when you lose the key
To the golden locket that holds my dreams
I can’t get another like the other did
And I can’t uncover scrambled visions
And I cannot tell if it’s you or me
That lives inside this haunted cabin
That keeps recurring
I can’t remember what I used to do
That made it easy to meet you deep inside the woods
Now I’m lost in wonder, wandering for years
And I found new sneakers that I thought were yours
And I cannot tell if you’ve already left
This haunted place between life and death
The rendezvous I missed
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12. |
Cocoon
04:26
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I remember the elevator
Down the hallway into your cocoon
You were sleeping, I was playing
Trying to laugh cause there was nothing left to do
Other families walking past me
Never speaking, nothing to say
Having no one understanding
The only way through is my own way
Now that we’ve been through we can do anything
Look at the leaves like you’ll never be the same
Hold your hands to me, my whole family
One last time before you slip through the grain
In the hospice, songs are our only
Way to push what you have to do
No more medicine, no recovery
No more loved ones, only you
We can sing your way to the afterlife
But we can’t sing your way through
Watch the king’s face turn from pale to white
Feel for his last heartbeat, too
Never believed I’d watch you dying
Now that it’s happening it weirdly makes sense
All that you’ve shown me wasn’t just fantasy
My whole life you were preparing me for this
Now that we’ve been through we can do anything
Look at the leaves like you’ll never be the same
Hold your hands to me my whole family
Look at what’s happening and try to be brave
Never believed I’d watch you dying
Trying to grasp it makes no fucking sense
I’ve followed closely, now it’s my time to lead
All of my life you were preparing me for this
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Gabriel Adels
Gabriel Adels is a writer, musician, and builder from Philadelphia.
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